I told my dad today that someone got shot and died And my dad was like, “With what?” I wanted to reply, ‘With cutlass’, but then I remembered he is still going pay my tuition fee next year.
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Joke: Dumb dad
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Nigeria Joke: No Fuel
UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house? MOMMY: No! UCHE: Why? MOMMY: No fuel. UCHE: Ahn ahn! I’m using my legs. MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you?
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Ladies: Funny ways to turn down men in 2016
This Post is For The Ladies… HE: Can I buy you a drink? YOU: Actually I would rather have the money. HE: I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. YOU: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. HE: Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? […]
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Akpos Joke: Romantic Shopping
The following conversation ensued between Akpos and Emeka. Emeka: Why do you hold your wife’s hand when you visit shopping malls? Akpos: Because if Ileave her hand she’ll go for shopping. It looks “ROMANTIC” but actually, it’s “ECONOMIC”.
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Funny Joke: Boyfriend and Girlfriend
BOYFRIEND: After 3 years, I have to let you know I can no longer be your Boyfriend… GIRLFRIEND: WTF! You can’t be serious right now… it’s cool though Josh, that’s why I’ve been having sex with your best friend for the past 2 years. YOU FOOL! BOYFRIEND: Wow… really? I was about to say I […]
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Funny Joke: Box of Chocolate
A businessman, a defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money, was talking to his lawyer, “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the Judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I send the Judge a carton of chocolates?” “Oh no! This Judge is diabetic. A stunt like […]
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Akpos Joke: To whom it may concern
After a heart surgery, Akpos told his doctor that his wife was afraid to have s*x with him. The Doctor assured him that it would do him no harm. Akpos asked him to give it to him in writing and the doctor wrote furiously and gave it to him. It said, “Dear Mrs Akpos, your […]
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Akpos Joke: Decent Prostitute
Akpos stopped at a bar after work to have a drink. He started talking to a girl even though he is married, he thought she is so fine that he agreed to go to her place. When he got to her place, he found out that she is a prostitute and that she wanted 5,000 […]
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Akpos Joke: On drugs
Akpos was sitting by the corner of the road. A policeman was also walking his sniffer dog. Suddenly, the dog ran to Akpos and then ran back to the policeman barking. The policeman walked up to Akpos and this conversation ensued: POLICEMAN: This dog tells me you’re on drugs Akpos: I’m on drugs? You’re the one talking to […]
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Funny Joke: Five Minutes
In Bed: It’s 6am. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45am. At Work: It’s 1:30pm. Close your eyes for 30 minutes, it’s 1:31pm
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Funny Joke: Educated Sons
1st son : Degree in Economics. 2nd son: MBA. 3rd son : PhD 4th son : Thief Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the 4th son out of your house? Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
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Drunk Akpos
Akpors was very drunk and was struggling to open his door with his key.His neighbour asked him “sir can I help you open the door ?” Akpors said “don’t worry, just help me hold the house straight, I can open the door.
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Almost Joke: Valentine’s Day iPhone
Girlfriend: Honey, I want iPhone 6 for Valentine Akpos: Whaat! Seriously? In this economy? You don’t know what you are saying! Girlfriend: Ok. On Val’s day, use my picture as your DP on Facebook and Whatsapp with the caption “My only true love”. Akpos: *Scratches head* erm… where can we get the Iphone to buy?
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Ways of breaking up before Valentine
16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery so you’re Capable of Killing Me… It’s Over!!! You don’t even respect me. I’m talking and you are busy breathing? It’s over! I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience. It’s over!! I told u I love my food hot but you refused to warm […]
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Akpos Joke: Flooding in Lagos
The following WhatsApp chat ensued between Akpos and his boss: Akpos: Boss, I won’t be able to come to work today. Boss: Why not? Akpos: It rained heavily in my area and the whole place is flooded. Boss: You listed “swimming” as your hobby in your CV. So hurry up and come to work! I’m […]
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Funny Joke: Wife versus Husband
Wife: honey can you please help me clean the garden Husband: do i look like a gardener? Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz Husband: do i look like a carpenter? 🔸husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the door fixed. Husband: I knew my wife will do […]
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10 hilarious Mugabe quotes that will drive you crazy
Here are 10 hilarious Mugabe quotes that will make your day. 1. “Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading” 2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a […]
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Akpos Joke: Inspector Yakubu
Akpos was at Lagos Police station today. To his surprise, he saw a policeman on duty reading a Bible. So he went to him and asked, “Who killed Abel?” The policeman replied: “Ask Inspector Yakubu. He is in charge of murder cases.”
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Akpos Joke: Free restaurant food
Akpos went to a restaurant with just Gh¢50. So he ordered for food worth Gh¢40. As he sat down to eat, a man sitting besides me putting on a nice shirt said to him: “Sir, I love the way you eating, you can add more food, I will pay”. Akpos quickly added more food for […]
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Akpos Joke: iPhone 7 Plus
The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his girlfriend: Girlfriend: Baby, we went to the mall today and I saw an iPhone 7 plus Akpos: Did you like it? Girlfriend: Yeeeesss!, baby, I swear I loved it. Akpos: Okay. Tomorrow, I’ll give you transportation fare so that you can go and watch it again. ALSO […]
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